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Studio Superstar is now completed! Please sure to check it out if you are interested.

Studio Superstar: Chapter 32 Part 2

Things on the Internet were over.

As for how the official media came forward to criticize them, how the show’s staff apologized, how the first episode was taken down, and how the staff worked overtime to re-edit it… these weren’t things that could be managed by the participants.

The moment the rain stopped, there was no need for Xue Xiao to call the others. They all ran over with a tacit understanding. “Hurry and go to rehearsal, hurry and go to rehearsal. We can’t waste any more time!”

Now there was one less person in their group. It wasn’t known how the show’s staff planned to deal with it, but it was likely that they would find an assistant actor to help.

This wasn’t a big problem. Originally, tomorrow was when the assistant actors of each group arrived at the camp to join the rehearsal. The problem was that many issues on their side hadn’t been resolved!

Guan Ruoying had worked hard to guide them, including Gu Ling. However, this wasn’t like 1+1=2 where other people telling them would allow them to fill in the answer directly. In the end, they had to rely on their own understanding.

On the way to Building 3, Huang Xiaolin said in a distressed manner, “Teacher Guan said that we don’t have a deep enough experience of death. It is just really difficult to imagine it without personal experience. By the way, Brother Dou, you act so well. Have you ever thought about this problem?”

Dou Mingjian scratched his cheek. “I didn’t think so deeply. It is just that five years ago, I had an uncle’s son who really had cancer. I visited him in the hospital at the time… It left quite an impression.”

The father he played was also such a role.

Huang Xiaolin suggested, “Then why don’t we go to a hospital for a visit? Is there a hospital nearby?”

Gu Ling replied casually, “The nearest one will take an hour by taxi, right? Even if we go there, are we just going to sit there and stare at a group of patients?”

It wasn’t that no actor had done this type of thing before. However, Huang Xiaolin couldn’t do it with his thin skin.

Sure enough, Huang Xiaolin imagined it and instantly had a bitter expression.

Xue Xiao muttered while carefully stepping on the ground, “Teacher Guan said it isn’t necessary to observe ‘people’ to be inspired.”

The process of learning acting was actually a process of learning life.

As long as they looked closely, they could gain insights everywhere in their lives.

Gu Ling heard these words and looked at him.

In his vision, Xue Xiao suddenly stopped and crouched down.

They were passing through the grove between the dormitory building and Building 3, and the trail was about to come to an end.

Seeing Xue Xiao stop, Gu Ling, Dou Mingjian, and Huang Xiaolin also stopped.

“Xiao, what is wrong with you? Do you not feel well?”

Xue Xiao shook his head while staring at the wet, muddy soil in front of him.

The three of them walked over, crouching down or bending over him.

Looking closely, they found that Xue Xiao was staring at a small beetle.

It had a black shell and was around the size of the little figure. It wasn’t known what breed it was.

Perhaps it was tortured by the wind and rain just now. It crawled out of the grass beside them and moved very slowly on the path.

It crawled and crawled hard. Once it reached in front of Xue Xiao, in the middle of the trail, it stopped.

No one made a sound as if afraid to disturb it.

Then after waiting a minute and not seeing any follow-up movement, Huang Xiaolin whispered, “Is it dead?”

Gu Ling shook his head.

Xue Xiao slowly raised his head.

The grove had dense branches and leaves, but there was an opening above their heads. The branches and leaves seemed to recede one after another, kindly giving up a small piece of sky.

It was a blue day.

The sun was warm, dry and evaporated all rainwater.

Xue Xiao lowered his head again.

The little beetle just bathed quietly in the sun for a while.

Once it moved its insect legs ago, not knowing where it wanted to go, a gust of wind suddenly blew.

The remaining rainwater dripping on the leaves was swept away by the wind. Pink petals floating from nowhere, swirling with the wind, and falling leisurely…

It landed on the back of the beetle and covered it.

So, the beetle stopped again.

Only this time, it stopped longer.

It was so long that everything in the world realized—

It was finally dead.

It died on this land after the rain.

It died on this spot, under the gentle petal.

It was so small that it died without a sound. The wind didn’t stop for a while. If they didn’t look closely, everyone would think it was just sleeping quietly or resting.

Only the four pedestrians passing by were silent.

……

“Teacher Guan told me that death isn’t only physical pain but also psychological unwillingness. The pain is actually very understandable, but how heavy is the unwillingness…”

Xue Xiao tilted his head. He spoke softly while trying to comprehend it, “I tried to think more specifically. For example, when a dying person sees people, traffic, sunlight, rain, trees, and flowers, even if he realizes that today is such an ordinary day and tomorrow will be an ordinary day—all people, all living things will live in an ordinary manner, but he will stop here…”

The other three were slightly startled.

They glanced at the little beetle and then at the small bit of sky about their heads. They thought about it…

The 21 year old terminally ill college student played by Xue Xiao in the play was named Lu Yu.

Xue Xiao murmured, “Lu Yu must not have really realized his insignificance and the unstoppable progress of his life until this time. He is as insignificant as the little bugs on this land and is about to die so easily. He will definitely be reluctant because he also hopes to plan next year’s trip like his classmates or discuss tonight what new restaurant to eat at tomorrow.”

But he could no longer do the things that seemed ordinary in the past.

Even if he worried about his parents, his own fear and unwillingness were too great to ignore.

Xue Xiao stretched out his finger. Under his fingertip was the flower petal, and under the petal was the weak beetle.

At this moment, it seemed that he had finally touched the fragility of life.

What about the parents? What role did the elders play in this?

Huang Xiaolin’s eyes moved slightly.

The character he played was a father who had lost his son.

His son was in a car accident and was gone overnight.

He should be as fearful and unwilling as Lu Yu, but for him, the unwillingness in his heart must be even more. In particular, every time he saw other people’s children healthy and happy, he would definitely have the thought, ‘Why is my son no longer here?’

Why was it that he and his wife could no longer eat and chat with their son, could no longer watch their son grow up, get married, and have children, could no longer…

Then the problem came again. He stepped into the cemetery’s business hall, and what he saw wasn’t a healthy and happy child.

It was another young man who was about to die.

At this moment, his strong unwillingness should turn into empathy for Lu Yu’s father. He saw the shadow of his son in Lu Yu.

Grief dispersed all fear and unwillingness, mixing them together. All emotions break the embankment, and the tide rushed in.

Xue Xiao turned his head and said to Gu Ling, “Teacher Guan has mentioned your problem, right?”

Gu Ling replied in a low voice, “She said that I act like Luo Sheng, but my soul isn’t the same. Luo Sheng is a severely depressed patient. I only performed his final ‘seeing through everything’ and not the crux of his heart.”

Xue Xiao asked again, “Do you think Luo Sheng has a crux in his heart?”

Gu Ling frowned. He was silent for a while before saying, “His wife jumped to her death out of depression, and he has always regretted that he didn’t discover her illness earlier. I think by the time he stepped into this office and was about to buy a couple’s joint burial site, he had already made up his mind to commit suicide. He has figured out that his past can’t be changed. Since it is too painful to live in the world without his wife, he chooses to die with his wife. The crux should no longer exist.”

Gu Ling was obviously trying to abandon the instinctive acting method and to think and understand the characters.

Xue Xiao didn’t deny Gu Ling’s idea. He just put forward his own opinion.

“I have a friend who was depressed. He used to talk to me, and he couldn’t help thinking about the past, frame by frame.”

“He wants to go back to his childhood, but he can’t go back. Since he has grown up, his parents are old, and the grandparents who took care of him the most when he was a child are gone.”

“Then he will think of the night when his grandma died. when everyone thought she was gone, but he saw tears in the corners of her eyes. If his grandma had been conscious at the time, would she have been scared to face death alone? He often thinks about it and becomes annoyed that after high school, due to various things, his attitude toward his grandmother and grandfather was very cold. They always told him to come and play when he had time, but he didn’t go very often.”

“He constantly recalled it, constantly regretted it and constantly felt sad because time can’t be reversed. He fell into messy thoughts and couldn’t fall asleep well every night… This process can’t be stopped at all. Then his body became wrong. Every time there was a problem somewhere in his body, he would become more cranky. He was immersed in the past and didn’t want to face tomorrow. He didn’t know why he was still living such a depressed life.”

Xue Xiao said, “I think Luo Sheng has figured out the fact that ‘death isn’t terrible.’ Since he feels that this world without a wife makes him feel painful, then he must still be thinking about this every day. The net that covers him hasn’t disappeared.”

Gu Ling’s eyes sank into thought.

“For him, death is the little bug in front of him. He can look down at it very strongly. However, he feels that his wife isn’t the same. He saw fate trample his wife under his feet, but he did nothing. It is because he thinks so that he repeatedly recalls it. He gradually falls into depression and develops mental and physical problems.

“Even though he seems so calm now, he is still a ‘severely depressed person.’ His illness is still in him.”

The words came out, and the trail fell silent.

Soon, Xue Xiao, Dou Mingjian, and Huang Xiaolin all stared at Gu Ling.

Gu Ling told them, “…I have some clues.”

He said a bit helplessly, “Don’t come over to look at me like this.”

Dou Mingjian and Huang Xiaolin laughed loudly. “Isn’t it because you don’t talk much, so we don’t know what you think?!”

Xue Xiao also laughed. He lowered his head, carefully moved the beetle to the side, and put it in another grass.

Blades of grass and dew lay below it, and the sun was still shining down above it.

He let this little life sleep here forever.

Gu Ling watched him finish this move, pat his trouser leg and stand up. Then Gu Ling said softly, “…Thank you.”

Xue Xiao heard this and turned around with a smile. “You’re welcome. We are a team.”

Dou Mingjian sighed. “Xiao, your comprehension of feelings is much stronger than ours. No wonder why your acting in the first round was so good.”

Xue Xiao didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. “Brother Dou, what type of embarrassing boast is this? In the first round, I actually acted like that. Weren’t you much better than me?”

“It isn’t what you said, right Xiao Gu—” Dou Mingjian teased while reaching out and putting his hand on Gu Ling’s shoulder.

Gu Ling answered positively in a low voice.

He raised his eyes to look at Xue Xiao and said, “There is no need to underestimate yourself. In fact, the river demon you played is—”

Xue Xiao was stunned. He hadn’t expected Gu Ling to suddenly remember this drama.

Then Gu Ling paused when he reached here.

He looked at Xue Xiao, and there was something else in his eyes.

Xue Xiao looked bewildered.

At this moment, a slightly cool voice sounded at the end of the trail. “Xue Xiao.”

Comment

  1. clozed says:

    guess his idol is here 😂

  2. Qinlan says:

    Woah..😲 Xue Xiao was like..🫢😮😯
    Feel like he can be coaching/teachers of life..😇🫢🤭
    Thanks for the update~☆😉😊😄

  3. Szeszter says:

    Wow 😲 I guess XX has an admirer. But his idol is here to put a stop to any competition for his baby🙂

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